I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
