just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
