Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
