he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
