i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
