I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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