I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
And then he peed in my hair
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