So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
