i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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