:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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