they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
