Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Of course I have a pirate flag
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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