Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
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She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
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Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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