yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize