ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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