I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
