you have to choose: penises or morals?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
