Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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