I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
