we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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