Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
