using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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