Plan B is the new Plan A
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I need water and some morals
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
