K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i drank out of a bidet.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
