I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Randomize