According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
