carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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