I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
