I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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