i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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