I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
