The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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