actually, I'm a sock model
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
