Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
