I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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