Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize