yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
