Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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