Kiss
Puke
I can text with my tongue
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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