Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
