That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
