There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
