omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
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Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
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I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
We need to get me chipped asap
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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