Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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