mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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