What did we do last night that was yellow?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
