I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
