look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
