My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
