I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
