Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
