I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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