I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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