i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize