I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize