Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
this will be a night to untag.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize