Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
