I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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