Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
