I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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