1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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