your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
